How Failure Can Lead to Growth

 

Recently, I’ve been asked to lead conversations on failure quite a bit. A few of you have emailed asking me to touch on a series I started in late 2018; one I even turned it into a keynote called ‘ ‘the beauty of failure’ : unpacking how failure is something to be embraced rather than feared in our lives.

 

 

Fear of failure causes us to withdraw, protect ourselves, and seek the safety of comfort. It limits us and cuts us off from what may be waiting on the other side.

 

If you’re a creative, or work closely with anyone who calls themselves such, failure is likely a familiar part of the life you’ve chosen. Creative arts? Failure is virtually guaranteed at some point in your development. Leading projects or people? Definitely (if you haven’t failed in some way already, you probably aren’t really pushing at the edges of where you should be). Launching a business? Few, if any, get it right without a  whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears. 

 

As much as we may like to avoid it, failure comes with the territory of being a pioneer in almost any field. Elvis Presley was told he ‘couldn’t sing well’ … Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team … even Vincent Van Gogh reportedly sold only one painting in his entire lifetime. Nikolai Tesla had setback after setback … but his enthusiasm and trailblazing nature continued unabated.

 

The same is likely true for you as it is for me. Failure, embarrassment, debt, and fear have likely been part of all our stories. 

 

However,  like those listed above, we must understand that failure is not a dead end, it is simply a fork in the road we must navigate and continue down. Elvis pushed ahead. Jordan redoubled his practice efforts. Van Gogh continued to paint, write, and work despite his lack of recognition. And Tesla was so far ahead of his time, he may even be ahead of OUR time.

 

A few key points:

 

Embracing failure can create a radical shift in our mindset. When we no longer fear failure - we enable our creativity to rise without fear of repercussion or reprisal. Nothing is too big if we know that no result is bad.

 

Embracing failure makes us more receptive to new possibilities. We are never more aware of our surroundings than when we are engaged, excited, and expectant. When we view failure correctly, we see that it is helping us strip away the unessential!

 

Embracing failure removes fears grip on our creativity. Choosing to embrace failure removes fear, one of the key blockages to new creative work in our lives, and encourages us to look beyond previous boundaries with open hands and a positive outlook.

 

Embracing failure helps us see ourselves as we are. A critical to a healthy self-awareness is an understanding of who we are. Yes, we are flawed and will make mistakes, but those mistakes are themselves a work of art and an expression of our humanity. They aren’t to be run from, but to be embraced as part of our story and part of our journey. Embracing failure helps us to embrace change.

 

This all helps us see that our goal shouldn’t be to eliminate failure, but to learn from it, draw from it, and find some kind of potential in our missteps.

 

Some of our culture’s greatest breakthroughs and most iconoclastic figures have come about through a beautiful cataclysm of failure and setback (Lady Gaga’s early work was labeled as ‘disgusting’ by some record label execs. Oops). Far from being a drain, some of our greatest creative breakthroughs come right off the back of our greatest disappointments. 

 

 

So how should we practically approach our failure when they fall flat? Here’s my 3W model for when I fail:

 

 

Why did this venture go wrong? At it’s core, what was fundamentally missing that stopped this from succeeding? Did I trust someone too much? Did I not trust someone enough? Did I delegate where I should have been more involved? Did I fail to prepare? Did I over -prepare? These are all questions we should ask as we look at our failure and say ‘why?’ Now, this requires a fair amount of humility and self-awareness, as well as situational wisdom. There is often time multiple answers. And please note, ‘my people didn’t do what I told them’ or ‘I ran out of time’ are rarely thoroughly complete answers. Look deeper.

 

 

What could I have done that I missed? I find it especially helpful (slash painful) to look at my role in the error. Now, if you’re like me and don’t immediately see one, please look again :) Could you have avoided it? What would that have required? Patience? Persistence? More humility? More intentional upskilling? Greater character? Better timing? Remember, this is now a chance for you to look at areas you can develop in yourself. Let me encourage you, do not shortcut this process; especially as it will likely lead you to some uncomfortable questions about your own blind spots.

 

 

 

Who may have made a significant difference in this? Who would be able to help me avoid issues like this in the future? Who could help me find a through this roadblock? Who did I use well in my mission, and whose impact have I mistakenly minimised to my own detriment? Who brings more to the table here that could get it over the line? Who are the kind of people I should have around me? Could they have stopped this from going south? Would they have made the critical breakthrough if I'd trusted them more or given them the more pertinent tools?

 

This is the simple framework I use to analyse my failures … three multi-layered questions I ask in order to move closer to my goal. Why, what, and who.

 

My strong encouragement for you is that you don’t recoil from failure, but that you see it as an important part of the journey that can build you rather than diminish you.

 

There is greatness ahead if you can push on. And though your journey will look different from that of Tesla, MJ or Gaga, the lesson remains the same… embracing failure helps us to embrace change.

 

 

G

 

pic via Sani Katirachi on Unsplash